That is yet another great post you have here. You feel angry because you did not receive the raise you expected. For instance, if a coworker states that they are having trouble adjusting to an increased workload, you may identify by thinking of a time when you had more chores at home. If the person speaking is your spouse or romantic partner, and the topic of the conversation relates to you (as in the example above), it's even more difficult to restrain yourself from reacting. I can see how my teasing might feel like a putdown or disrespect. Empathetic listening is about really understanding the person who’s talking to you. That means it goes beyond active listening and deep into the zone of non-judging and empathy. The speaker may indicate discomfort with their posture and mannerisms. You don't need to share them for the speaker to know you understand what she is saying. ), Your spouse: “I'd prefer you just not to tease me at all, especially about things that are important to me.” (Your spouse says the last part with strong body language. Here are 9 strategies for practicing empathic listening: 5. For instance, you can say, “I hear you” _or “I see that this brings up strong emotions.” _. But it is so much more than that. Refrain from solutions. Your entire body needs to let the speaker know you are fully present. Through clear explanation, specific examples, and practical exercises, Dr. Miller offers a step-by-step process for developing your skillfulness in empathic listening. You might ask, “How did you feel about that?” Or “What do you think the best next step might be?”, You can also ask empathic questions that relate to the speaker's emotional state. Explanation: Empathic listening is beyond normal hearing. As the speaker hears himself talk, he gains more clarity about his problem and becomes better equipped to find a resolution. Remember that the point of these discussions is to let the speaker air their feelings at their own pace. The main goal of empathic listening is to understand what the other person is saying and to give them the space to feel heard and validated. Reflect to the speaker what you heard them say. Increasing productivity: When coworkers trust and understand each other, they typically work better as a team. Only when they release this backlog of emotion are they finally able to have clarity and the ability to reach conclusions. These useful active listening examples will help address these questions and more. If you can't listen calmly and practice active listening skills, then delay the conversation until you can. We often want to give people solutions and tell them what we think will make them happier, more successful, more confident. Your empathic listening skills can de-escalate a fight and serve as a model for future communication as a couple. It can be very healing as you mention. There is No Script for Empathy. Have you used any of these statements? But it is truly a gift to just be present and allow the speaker the freedom to reflective and articulate at his or her own pace. When you repeat the word or phrase, try to imitate the same tone of voice the speaker used. If they decide to end the conversation abruptly, letting them leave without asking them to keep going can indicate that you respect their feelings. What is he or she communicating with facial expressions, position of arms and legs, or movements? It's a skill that serves not only others, but also one that stretches you to become more loving, compassionate, and patient person. Empathetic listening is about really understanding the person who’s talking to you. Empathic listening is defined as listening with an intent to care with the feeling of compassion and emotional understanding.